it was time to go for a run
but the excuses
wavered in the air
like a flight of bees on a summer day.
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it was time to go for a run
but the excuses
bounced around my mind
like a pinball in a machine.
~~~~~~~~~~
it was time to go for a run
but the excuses
dashed around my feet
like mice scurrying for a piece of cheese.
~~~~~~~~~~
the excuses ebb and flow
but that run is now complete
the excuses did not win
no regrets, no defeat!
~~~~~~~~~~
Mentor Text: Catch Your Breath, Writing Poignant Poetry
by: Laura Purdie Salas
“Poems” by Kate Coombs
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Slice of Life
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Runner, Reader, & Rockin' Mom 
What a great poem, Amy! It’s got a great structure and love how your excuses are wavering, prancing and dashing about your feet. Glad you got your run in!
I’m glad that run is finished too! Thanks!
A run???? Eleven miles is almost half a marathon! Wow! Good for you for not giving up!
I love the structure of this poem. Also your verb choice and similes. I want to get Laura’s book!
I’m actually training for a half marathon so that would be the reason for the 11 miles! Whether it’s 11 miles or 3, I still go through the same process! Yes, pick up a copy of Laura’s book!
“Like a flight of bees on a summer day”
Love that phrase!
Thanks! I had fun writing it and trying to find the right phrases.
Good for you! When I get the urge to run (which only happens when I’m being chased — not often), my story usually stops at the end of your third stanza. Great slice!
Thanks, Jennifer. Your reply made me chuckle.
I could see the excuses creeping from your words, to my screen, trying to grab me too! Today is the 2nd day of excuses not to exercise. I love the comparisons you used: “… excuses dashed around my feet like mice scurrying…”. And loved the personification of excuses. They can be so forceful if we let them. If we let them.
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed my poem.
I like the active verbs you used to describe the excuses and then . . . triumph! We all have times where the excuses ebb and flow (even if we’re not runners). You make me want to get Laura’s book!
Oooh! I like the word triumph. Now I’m wondering how I can revise my poem to get that word in there!!!!!
Love the way you used a mentor text to shape your beautiful writing!
Thank you, Stacey! I’m glad you stopped by for a visit.
I had to giggle when I saw your mileage and pace 🙂 I thought a “run” was a few miles. I too, am a runner, and could connect to your poem. I also love to use mentor texts to guide my writing. Are you training for a certain distance?
Hi Rachel! Yes, I’m training for a 1/2 marathon, which is next weekend. That would be the reason for the 11 miles! Then I have another 1/2 marathon scheduled in May. It keeps me busy! 😊
Great similes in this poem! Good for you – you didn’t let those excuses win!
Thanks, Dana!